Hope You Guess My {Name} ~ (Ianto/Doctor)

[Captain John Hart]

After leaving Jack, after the destruction he had caused in Cardiff, John travelled this planet called Earth and saw many things. He wanted to understand what Jack saw in this little blue ball. What he found was pain, suffering, a lust for corruption and a handful of fantastic brothels.

Oh, he saw beauty and creativity but those things were a dime a dozen all over the universe and Earth was not that special. He felt camaraderie with the darker side of humanity. He was a human…of sorts. Not born to flesh and blood parents, but he was created from human, albeit, modified, DNA.

He sat on the sidelines and watched the bloody wars in Africa, he visited the Middle East and put a few notions in the ears of those in power, laughing all the while they were slaughtered. John even spent some time with a militia in the middle of the United States of America…oh boy, he couldn’t wait for that to blow up…literally.

However, he was bored now and he wanted to leave this place. He wanted to head out to the stars with no limits and all the chaos he could handle. He had spent the better part of the past month doing nothing but working on his vortex manipulator, trying to adjust the settings so he could leave this planet for a while. (He always knew he would be back. If Jack was here, he would return. Always.)

He was in a small village in South America. He’d been hiding out from drug cartel while he worked on his wristband. He had managed to piss them off a few months back when he told them that cocaine was going to go out of fashion in about four years, when someone invented a synthetic version that was cheaper to manufacture and didn’t have the death rate that the natural version did. Then he gave them some of the stash he had left. Now they were after him to get some more to be the ones to develop it and make the money.

Sitting in a small shack of a house, he was only just finishing with the manipulator when he heard the commotion from down the road. The cartel had found him and he didn’t even have time to test his wristband to see if it was working properly. He gave a silent prayer to whichever deity was listening and pressed a few buttons causing him to blink out of existence in the little house.

He appeared on a rain slicked street, it was night and he was not sure what time it was. He was hoping he was on Cergate. He loved that planet. They made the best Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blasters in the known universe and right about now he could go for one.

He grasped his head as a flash of pain seared through his skull. It would pass, but that was the price you paid to travel by a vortex manipulator. He straightened up as soon as the pain began to dissipate. He was still quite unsure of where he was.

He glanced at the wet brick wall beside him. It looked familiar. He touched the wall. Felt familiar. He sniffed the air. It smelled familiar. He was about to lick the brick wall when someone passed by the head of the alley. It was a young couple and they were laughing, talking not to quietly and John wished he was back in the little South American hut.

“Oh for the love of…Cardiff? I’m in bloody Cardiff?” he asked no one. He flipped open the his manipulator and pressed another set of buttons. Nothing happened. He tried again, still nothing. It was still lit up but it was not letting him leave this place.

He leaned against the wet wall, hard. He didn’t want to be back here, not now. Though, it would be nice to see Jack even if he knew it was too soon.

Pushing himself up off the wall, he strode out onto the street. There were shops and people walking back and forth and many restaurants. He randomly picked a direction and walked. He walked and ignored all the odd looks people gave him. You would think they would be used to seeing a bloke in period clothes walking around like he owned the place. Of course, it could have just been the rather large sword he had strapped to his person.

He spied a rather friendly bar on the corner and passed it by for the dark and broody looking pub across the street. He entered, ignored the grunts from the patrons and ordered a pint and two shots of whiskey. It was going to be a long night and he wanted a head start. It would only be a matter of time before someone from Torchwood tracked him down and then the fun would really begin.

[The Doctor]

It had been quite some time since the galaxies’ hero, the Doctor saw beyond the console room of the TARDIS. The poor thing was stuck and not willing to budge but it got the Doctor thinking about a lot things. Mostly about Rose who recently showed up. He still didn’t confess his feelings to her. It was a hard thing confessing love. Besides he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that kind of relationship. Sure she told him and he almost told her but it never happened because he ran out of time. The hour-glass ran out of sand, until now when it got flipped onto its opposite side.

The Doctor let out a sigh of relief as he lounged within the coral console room of the interior of the TARDIS. The room had so many memories. Of joy and of sorrow. So many things happened in this room. Looking around flashes of the past sparkled in his mind’s eye. Over there just before the door Martha left him, Donna appeared, Rose entered, Grace lingered, Sarah Jane smiled, and Susan once stood. Smiling weakly he thought of Rose with her platinum blond hair, sure it was obviously un-natural in color as her roots were dark but she was a true beauty. So were so many other of the people he came to love and move on from. Shaking his head he realized if he didn’t say anything to her she would one day grow old and wither away like many others. The Doctor lost love, and when he found it again it was always too complicated for him to claim it.

Sometimes it all seemed so out of reach. One thing lead to another and soon the things that really mattered like love and happiness just faded into the oblivion. All that mattered now was getting the TARDIS working again, then the Doctor would be content and all would be well in the universe, as its Doctor would be in. Bushing his pinstriped trousers off from the crumbs from his banana nutella sandwich he hopped onto his feet. Lunch was over, now to get back to his work. Well what he considered work, which was lollygagging around the TARDIS doing positively noting because he was too broken hearted over the TARDIS being malfunctional. Perhaps a nice banana daiquiri or a long walk would make things better---that or confessing to a certain Rose Tyler….

The screen began to flash something in Gallifain. The Doctor looked at it pulling out his rectangular black rimmed glasses. Blinking he took note of the disturbance in the rift between space and time. The relationship that Albert Einstein, the father of relativity had been made famous for here on Earth, the blue planet. Grabbing his coat the Doctor dashed out of the TARDIS to see just what the disturbance was this time. Any minute now Torchwood would come barging in and mess everything up, because that’s how Jack and his team worked. The Doctor actually knew what he was doing because he was a Time Lord, the last of the Time Lords. Besides he had that right, it was rich in his blood and flowed though his veins.

It was then that he spotted the man in the Napoleonanic coat and chaps. What a bizarre combination. Yet the Doctor himself had his say in odd choices in his own wardrobe. Once he went with an outrageous plaid and multicolored coat with yellow pinstriped trousers, then there was the velvet dinner jackets, the cricket attire, the long knitted scarf, and once a Victorians costume. So who was to talk about a horrible wardrobe as he himself had many of mismatching combinations. Like now he wore a brown pinstriped suit, white trainers, and a coat Janis Joplin—the famed singer from the sixties donated to him. Long story there, but it was the sixties a time of love, war, and peace.

For some time the Doctor followed him in sheer curiosity. Like they said curiosity killed the cat, but for a Time Lord it just joked that it would lead to a regeneration. Then he gathered his words selecting them with utter care. “Excuse me, I would just like to compliment on your Nepoleonanic coat. I haven’t seen one of those since the nineteenth century, 1812 to be precise. I think it was Russia, during the war. Enlightenment was spreading across Europe the genie was out of the bottle and revolution was sparking around the globe like fireworks. Though I always fancied Benjamin Franklin better, brilliant fellow. Had a knack for electricity.” Holding out a hand the Doctor introduced himself, “Oh and by the way I am the Doctor, and you are?” He arched an eyebrow as he waited for a response.

[pande]

Ianto glanced up suddenly as the computer in front of him started to beep madly. Ianto lifted an eyebrow and blinked several times. “What a large disturbance in the rift…” Ianto murmured to himself. Then he laughed and shook his head at the nerdiness of his own thought process. Given that he worked around Aliens and had yet to see something as impressive as the Death Star or a Battle Cruiser, one would have thought that he’d give up on the notion that those things were amazing. Nah. So far the only sort of spaceship he’d come across happened to be the Doctor’s Tardis—which, while amazing on the inside, was hardly a scary or impressive sight on the outside.

And mostly because he was bored and had little else to do while Jack was off on his own trying to help the Doctor with whatever problems the man was having with his space ship, Ianto decided to go out and discover whatever had caused the large disturbance in the rift. Ianto pondered on Star Wars one more time before he holstered his gun, smoothed his jacket and left the Hub with a device that would point him in the correct direction of the disturbance.

There was a strange metallic taste in Ianto’s mouth – as though it was some sort of warning about what Ianto was going to find. Maybe the alien would be some sort of metal creature… or… something interesting like that. Maybe it was the Silver Surfer. Ianto’s step quickened as he headed towards his destination. How could would something like that be? To meet the ACTUAL Silver Surfer. Ianto mentally slapped himself over his comic otaku-ness. He sighed and forced his step to slow, of course there was no such thing as the Silver Surfer. Well. Not that Ianto knew of.

And sadly, all of his knowledge was based off a standpoint of just being on the planet earth. Good times, but quite limited. For obvious reasons. Ianto looked down in mild surprise as the signature suddenly started to move. It appeared to be humanoid. Interesting… Ianto followed the signature until he found himself stopped in front of a dark, gruff looking bar. He lifted up his eyebrow and pushed open the door. What would he find?

Ianto scanned the crowd for obvious aliens. Human, human, human, hu—oh no. Ianto’s mouth suddenly drew down into a frown. Why did it have to be him? He looked disapprovingly at the social obvious Captain John Hart. Ianto was about to turn and leave when suddenly he saw the figure of the Doctor approaching the other Time Traveler. Ianto blinked several times, what the…? With a sigh he walked over to them, his fingers itched to grab his gun and just shoot John where the jerk stood – but that probably wouldn’t go over too well with the Doctor.

Instead Ianto walked up behind the Doctor (in sight of John) and said quietly, “His name is Captain John Hart, and he’s a royal pain in the ass.”

[Captain John Hart]

John heard the man approach him. He instinctively sniffed the air. No harm no foul if it was Jack and he wanted to be prepared. What he smelled was unlike anything he had ever breathed in before. It was alien and it was old.

Then it spoke.

“Excuse me, I would just like to compliment on your Nepoleonanic coat. I haven’t seen one of those since the nineteenth century, 1812 to be precise. I think it was Russia, during the war. Enlightenment was spreading across Europe the genie was out of the bottle and revolution was sparking around the globe like fireworks. Though I always fancied Benjamin Franklin better, brilliant fellow. Had a knack for electricity.”

John cast a glance over his shoulder, his lip twitching slightly. He was about to speak but the man continued on, holding out a hand.

“Oh and by the way I am the Doctor, and you are?” he said.

Lifting a hand to shake the Doctor’s, he paused when he spied Jones.

“His name is Captain John Hart, and he’s a royal pain in the ass.”

John smiled, brightly. “Yes, that would be my name and royal pain in the ass is my game.” He shook the Doctor’s hand and motioned with his chin toward Jones. “Eye-Candy is just jealous because brought sexy back.” He threw a wink at the Welshman.

“The jacket? Can’t remember exactly. I did get it off a soldier but he was dead at the time.” He grabbed one of his shots and knocked it back. “That jacket of yours is rather nice. Is that leather? Soft.” he said, reaching out his free hand to touch the material.

He could see Jones in his peripheral vision. He knew his mere presence was driving the man insane. This was going to be a good evening.

[The Doctor]

Now he got a better look at him, the Doctor caught the idea that this human was a time traveler. Meaning he was clearly out of his own time, rather like Jack because of the scent of the vortex that he carried off of him. The Doctor observed the man for quite some time. The way he stood, his expressions, everything about the man in a red coat. Something about him intrigued him. The Doctor waited for the man to say something.

Looking down at the man’s hand who had yet to reach his own, the moment was halted by the sound of the familiar voice of the Welshman. Yes, that’s right it was Ianto Jones. Smiling the Doctor glanced over in his direction and gave him a smile before he looked back down to his outreached hand. John was now shaking it. His name was Captain John Hart according to Ianto and the Captain just told him as much. The Doctor grinned weakly at him. Nodding weakly at him he seemed to click onto the fact that the duo knew each other meaning he probably knew Jack as well.

“Mmmhm, Janis Joplin gave me it.” The Doctor said in a dreamy voice. It was true and happened to be his favorite jacket. Janis Joplin did give him her coat because at the time he complemented her on what a wonderful jacket she had. So she just gave it to him, just like that. “It’s more like swade sort of…” Pondering the Doctor wasn’t exactly sure what the fabric of his jacket was called. He just liked it was all. Besides Janis Joplin was a very good friend of his as well as a fantastic singer. The Doctor stood still as the Human examined his jacket, touching it.

[pande]

Ianto seethed quietly as he watched the arrogant Captain shake the Doctor's hand and then call him by that horrible nickname. Again. And there, with the winking and the flirting and the not-so-innocentness! It really got Ianto's blood a boil. So the rift activity had been because of this jerkface. Seemed likely enough, but it left Ianto wondered just how the man had managed to get over here. He didn't say anything as the two shared clothing conversation -- Ianto was sure that he could have given much better... wait... did John kill the man he'd taken the jacket from? Good ... something, was there no stopping this inhuman human? Ianto rolled his eyes and turned towards the counter. He wasn't about to leave the Doctor alone with this freak.

Not in a hundred years. Of course... in about a hundred years Ianto would be dead. And then Jack would be lone-- when had Jack come into the conversation? Ianto felt himself bristle defensively. Just being around John made Ianto want to mark Jack with a huge "belongs to Ianto" sign. It was childish... and foolish -- but it might have made the Welshman feel better. Ianto looked over at John and tried to control himself, "So, John." he said as politely as he could, "I see you're back in Cardiff. When are you leaving?"

[[ accckkk... shortness. Dx ]]

[Captain John Hart]

“Mmmhm, Janis Joplin gave me it.” He paused while John examined the jacket. “It’s more like swade sort of…”

“Joplin? You definitely hang with an interesting and, might I say, dead crowd.” He gave the Doctor a quick wink. He gave the long jacket the alien man was wearing an appraising look and thought to himself, ‘Well, he gets props for hanging around with interesting people…in the past. Joplin, huh? Good singer, interesting style, bit of a lush.’ The last part was practically laughable, considering the copious amounts of alcohol he consumed. Rehab worked on him about as well as it worked on Amy Winehouse.

Speaking of alcohol, John drank back the rest of his and quickly ordered some more. “Want anything?” he absently asked the Doctor, pointedly ignoring Jones.

John wasn’t thick, he was actually rather smart. Unfortunately, he rarely used his powers for good. You had to be intelligent to work with the Time Agency. They didn’t always hire idiots. That came much later, before the Agency fell apart. John left when they started hiring muscle and not mind. They went from being police for time to being the mob for time. Taking favours to ignore a time discrepancy or just straight out messing with time itself. It wasn’t as though John was a good, law-abiding boy but even he had standards he lived by. If you want to have a good future, don’t eff with the past.

So, it was obvious to John that the man before him, not Jones, the other one, was not human. He didn’t smell human and he wasn’t anyone he knew from the Agency. His mind was ringing with a thought but he knew it was too foolish to believe. That race was dead. “So, Doctor? Do you often hang out in bars and hit on men who wear interesting clothing?”

The bartender returned with the drinks and he proceeded to pound them back. He hated to think of his past, it made him all melancholy and pathetic. He’d much rather work on how he was going to get Jack’s attention and see how far he could push Jones. Hey, everyone needs a hobby.

"So, John." Jones said, his voice controlled, "I see you're back in Cardiff. When are you leaving?"

He snorted and said, “Funnily enough, I didn’t want to be here in the first place. Bloody wristband spat me here and intends for me to stay. So, unless you speak fluent vortex manipulator, and I can guess you can’t, then I’m a-stayin.” He gave a disgusted sigh. He didn’t want to be in Cardiff, he didn’t want to be in Wales. He wanted to be off this bloody planet once and for all.

A wicked smile curled his lips as he turned from the bar to look at his two visitors. “Jonesy, looks like you already know the Doctor. I’m guessing he knows Jack,” he said, snorting to himself at the name. It still made him smile and he often wanted to blurt out his real name. But then Jack would only use his and that was a can of worms he did not want opened. “Where is our conquering hero?”

[The Doctor]

Smiling weakly the Doctor nodded. Janis Joplin had been one of his all time favorites; he met a lot of interesting people on his travels. He could go on talking for hours even if he didn’t know the chap in the Napoleonic jacket. Though he had to admit the guy was trying just all of the classy pick up conversation lines in the book. If the Doctor had been a regeneration younger he probably would have lectured the younger man. But this Doctor, this newer Doctor was a different man, sure he did tell people off yet first he was keener on seeing where this chap was taking the conversation. He wanted to have an open mind about it.

“Yes please, erm… I would like a burdock and brandy with a straw. If they don’t have that a banana daiquiri will do just fine.” The Doctor adored peculiar drinks. Ginger beer was one of his favorite’s f or a non alcoholic beverage. The only simple thing he drank would have to be an English pot of tea. Then again he was a Time Lord and did quite a bit of traveling so drinking unusual beverages only came with the job. For the record the last time the Doctor had a very odd drink was a while ago, before his TARDIS became malfunctional and refused to work properly. He ruffled a hand though his hair in several directions.

If he was drinking a drink he would have choked at that line. Luckily for everyone, the Doctor was leaning against the bar. “Pardon?” The Doctor sounded as shocked as he was. “I don’t go to bars seeking out ----no…. just no.” He looked over at Ianto for help as he really wasn’t sure what to do in this awkward situation. Then all of a sudden he had an idea. A brilliant one at that. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude or anything, you must be fifty-first century. As for me… it’s not really….. well… I….” The Doctor was a little frustrated with the subject. “I have Rose.” He ended up saying.

The Doctor took his drink happily disregarding the subject and gulped it down, placing the empty pint glass on the table. “Another one please; I think I am gonna need it.” He told the bartender. The subject moved along to the reason why John was here. The Doctor helped himself up to the barstool and sat down folding his jacket underneath him. ”Oooh well then, it seems you ran into the jack pot. I happen to be good with tweaking things.” The Doctor told him with a polite grin. “Hand you space hopper over here, and let me take a looksy then. Won’t take long.” At this his hand was already moving to his right breast pocket for his handy dandy sonic screwdriver. Of course he wasn’t going to fix the thing, just deactivate it like he did with Jack’s. Because that sort of technology was dangerous in this time and place.

“Jack who?” The Doctor questioned as he wanted to make sure it was the same Jack they were speaking of. After all Jack was a bloody common name. Of course the Doctor only knew one Jack from the fifty first century and that was Captain Jack Harkness of Torchwood Three. “Ah I see you like Poe then. The Conquer Worm. Wonderful poem! Brilliant man, met him once.”

[pande]

Ianto stood there, he once more felt like the third wheel. Which didn't bug him so much, he was here more or less to make sure that John didn't do anything stupid like kill someone. Again. Or poison someone. Again. OR trying something again with Jack. Especially the last of the ideas. That's what Ianto was worried about. Jack seemed to be so odd now a days. Looking at the other Captain and the Doctor interacting with each other, Ianto found himself relaxing. He looked at the counter and ordered something he'd always loved.

Jack would have laughed if he'd known, and so Ianto had never told him. Jones leaned against the rail and smiled thinking about Jack. He really loved that man, and right now more than ever. He wasn't looking forward to John and Jack meeting each other again. His eyes flicked over towards John when the man addressed him, just in time for the bartender to place Ianto's drink down. The male sipped at it, then frowned. Jack had one of those, but Ianto had never known how it had worked.

So he shrugged and drank more from his glass. Then looked coolly at John when he commented on knowing the Doctor. Ianto had only really recently met the Doctor, so he was only an acquaintance. He nodded his head, and then he looked at the Doctor, who was asking for clarification. Ianto smiled a little, "He knows my Jack." Ianto stressed the word 'my' just to make sure that John knew who Jack was with. "And I haven't the faintest where he is, and I probably wouldn't tell you if I did." Ianto drank more from his glass and placed it well away from John's fingers. Just in case.

[Captain John Hart]

John had to smile as the Doctor stumbled over his back-peddle. He had a distinct love of making people uncomfortable in their own skin. There were so many reactions he had registered from the simple act of obvious flirting. They would either flirt back, which was usually boring. They would do like Jones and take offence to the point of being utterly rude and brash. (Still a turn-on in John’s eyes. Oh the things he could do to Eye-Candy. Ah well.) Then there was the Doctor’s reaction.

John snorted and with a raised glass spoke, “Methinks the Doctor protest too much.” He knocked back another glass and quickly called for more when the Doctor ordered his second.

The conversation had changed to his vortex manipulator and he was relieved…for a moment.

”Oooh well then, it seems you ran into the jack pot. I happen to be good with tweaking things.” The Doctor told him with a polite grin. “Hand you space hopper over here, and let me take a looksy then. Won’t take long.”

John was about to hand over his wrist but when he spied the device in the Doctor’s hands he paused. “Is that a sonic…screwdriver?” He pulled his sleeve down over his wristband and said, “Ta but no thanks. I’ll see what I can do. Your little toy could ground me forever and I refuse to be stuck on this planet, in this time…forever.”

He was relieved when the Doctor changed the subject. Sheesh this man suffered from major oooo-shiny moments. The Doctor had asked about Jack and before he could open his mouth, Jones replied.

"He knows my Jack." Jones said, stressing the ’my’. John rolled his eyes. "And I haven't the faintest where he is, and I probably wouldn't tell you if I did."

Scotch almost shot out of John’s mouth and across the bar. “HA! Funny that, just when you think he’s yours you realize he really isn’t. Besides, he was mine first, Jones. Jack can’t be owned, he is to fluid, free.” He looked off, melancholy tainting his words as he said, “that is the beauty of him.”