Hot Patootie (Rose)

[The Doctor]

Everyone knew talking helped, but no one talked ever. He couldn’t he wanted to just spill the jelly babies and tell her everything from the begging yet he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It hurt o much to speak of the past or bring up emotions. The thing was he loved Rose with both of his hearts yet could never bring himself to tell her this because it was forbidden to love her. She was human and he was a Time Lord. There were too many laws against that sort of thing. It was so frustrating, and Rose had no idea about his feelings towards her. He never made a move with her like he did with Grace Holloway. Sure he understood talking helped but he couldn’t bring himself to have a sit down conversation with her about the past. Not now. Like he said, like he told her another day perhaps just not right now as the present was not the right moment.

“Wait you attached her with a tow-truck and you didn’t tell me? Rose your making me miss out on all the good fun.” Smiling he nodded. “Trust me I already tried everything. Everything Rose, you’re the only thing I haven’t tried on her.”

His hearts leapt into his stomach when she said that. Why did she have to say that? He didn’t even say that he loved her. Was he that obvious? Perhaps he was. The Doctor looked down at the table saying nothing as he was not sure what to say as he did not want to ever lose Rose. He loved her and wanted her to travel with him until she moved on. The Doctor couldn’t bear thinking about that. He just couldn’t which was why he didn’t have the stomach to admit his love to her. “I never----- how did you know?”

[Rose Tyler]

“Wait you attached her with a tow-truck and you didn’t tell me? Rose your making me miss out on all the good fun.” Smiling he nodded. “Trust me I already tried everything. Everything Rose, you’re the only thing I haven’t tried on her.”

"It was mums idea. And it worked. You'd be a gonner if it didn't." she added with a grin. "I'll have a go. " she said thoughtfully. "You never know. And-" the grin came back again, even bigger "- we can always get the truck back again!"

“I never----- how did you know?”

Rose suddenly when red, looking down at the table to hide the blush. She'd not even realised entirely what she was saying - it had just kind of slipped out.
"I-I mean, it, I -" she gained control over her tongue again. "Was- was I wrong?" she asked, somewhat tenatively. She'd planned to wait, well, a while before having this conversation with him. If having it at all. She just couldn't stand it if he told her she was wrong. As much as she had gained independance while they were apart, so much of who she was was tied into the Doctor. Although she could never be angry at him for it, he had well and truely, irrevocably changed her.
"I don't even know if I want to know" she muttered, sucking her head again.

[The Doctor]

It was true. Rose had a point there; he would have been a gonner if she didn’t come back for him. “I would have pulled the trigger if you didn’t come back. I dunno Rose; I might be a different Time Lord.” The Doctor was hinting at his ability of regeneration. “Or I might have met my fate and dyed there on Satellite Five.” It was funny how Jackie could pull things together, she wasn’t half bad. Yet her slaps were another story.

“I should have told you earlier. I just couldn’t bring myself to. It breaks a lot of rules from where I am from yet I do. I love you, Rose Tyler. That’s what I was trying to tell you on the beach. That is what I was trying to get at when I explained how you could be with me forever but I couldn’t cos I would live on. I couldn’t finish telling you that because its forbidden.” The Doctor let it all out. He was horrible with his emotions as well as confessing them. It just came out was all. Everything that he had bottled up inside, all those years of love and emotion let out of the hat. Love was complicated, especially for the lonely Time Lord.

“Thing is… I’m not really allowed to love a Human, and here I am falling madly in love with you. Can you forgive me?”

[Rose Tyler]

Rose frowned, but in thought, not in frustration.
His words were so, so long awaited for. She'd always known it, in that small part of her, but to hear it out loud! This is why she'd volunteered to go through the dimensions. To find her Doctor. Finally, everything was slipping into place, and it ftted exactly, until-

“Thing is… I’m not really allowed to love a Human, and here I am falling madly in love with you. Can you forgive me?”

"Of course. Shame on you to fall in love with a human. " Rose smiled, but tears sparkled, barely hidden as she chewed her lip. She would never understand his mind, not completely. "But why not? Who are they to govern who you fall in love with? What does it matter?"

[sorry its a bit short]

[The Doctor]

Even the Doctor couldn’t believe what he was saying. It all began to just come out of his mouth. He couldn’t stop telling her, explaining it all just as he did with everything else. The Doctor bit his lip stopping himself as he realized he said too much. It was a deep feeling and he wasn’t sure why he just told her all of that. Sure it was true and needed to be told. Rose needed to know this, like she needed to know everything else that he told her. The confession had to happen, it was different with Grace, but with Rose he had to tell her because it was the right thing to do.

Sinking down in his seat he looked down at his pinstriped lap. The Doctor could sense Rose’s unhappiness. The slight salty tears forming up in her hazel eyes; she had pretty eyes. “I….. well….. it’s complicated Rose. I can’t just break all the rules after I----“ He was cut off as he thought about what he did to his planet. What he had to do to Gallifrey in the end. The war was harsh and the Doctor was the one to end it, as well as all the lives of the survivors. The Doctor hoped Rose would catch on. It was their only hope.

[Rose Tyler]

But Rose didn't get the silent message the Doctor was hinting at. She didn't know about Gallifrey, she didn't know what the Doctor had done, and she was just left feeling confused, hurt and agnry that he wouldn't tell her more, wouldn't actually talk to her. She didn't think she was asking much. She knew it was hard for him, and after so long keeping it inside, he wasn't going to let it all out so easily. But she wasn't asking him to. She was just asking for a little, instead of these crypic messages and excuses.
God, Rose hated even being in her own head at this moment. She just needed time to think, and she had a feeling the Doctor did to.
She took a deep breath, and brushed his cheek with her hand.
"I'm sorry" she said, getting up "I think we need some time to sort out our own heads. I certainly do"
With that, she turned and all but ran from the resturaunt.

[The Doctor]

Think? The Doctor had enough time to think about this. He knew what he wanted and he wanted Rose but there was the whole Gallifrain back-story to it that held him down, in his place. The Doctor assumed Rose knew this as she saw all of time and space when she was Bad Wolf. But as usual the Doctor overly assumed everything and had it all wrong. Sighing he leaned back in his seat. Rose had ran away from him without paying the bill. The Doctor forgot he didn’t have any money sides for some old yin in his pocket which was several centuries too old for this but hey it was Chinese food so if he left it and ran he would be alight. Wouldn’t he?

His brain remembered something else the credit card Jack gave him in case of emergencies. The Doctor pulled it out and paid for lunch. He took their fortune cookies, ate his and pocketed Rose’s to give to her later. Quietly he took back the card from the woman and walked out of the restaurant. His head hung low as he as he found Rose but she ran away from him. Maybe he could use a drink. Get his head away from those sort of thoughts. Clear his mind. That’s what he needed. A nice banana daiquiri.


[[To be continued..... DUN DUN DUN........ ]]